I can’t imagine that she’ll say yes, but what do I know about girls.

Dear Dad,

The big news today is that Will Mudgett is supposedly going to ask Misty Lee to go with him tomorrow. I can’t imagine that she’ll say yes, but what do I know about girls.

Whenever I saw Misty Lee today, she was surrounded by about five other girls, all whispering and shaking their heads. Whenever I saw Will Mudgett, he was either by himself or with his only friend, Chuck Klein, who wears these huge, fake diamonds in his pierced ears.

It’s kind of a relief to have Will Mudgett moving his focus off of me and onto Misty Lee, because he was still freaking me out on a regular basis. He still sits by me in social studies, when he decides to show up. Sometimes, when I look over at him, he is just staring at me like he wishes I was dead. Donnie still thinks I should just punch him or something. Like Donnie would ever do anything like that. I spent half of fourth grade fighting for Donnie when a fifth grader would pick on him.

I don’t know how everyone knows what Will Mudgett is going to do. My guess is that he told Chuck and Chuck told someone else and then, about 5 seconds later, the whole seventh grade knew.

So now I’m on this side. I’m a watcher. And Will Mudgett is the performing monkey. Misty Lee—I would never call her a performing monkey, because she knows what she’s doing and loooves being the center of attention. It doesn’t matter if it’s because of a freak like Will Mudgett. If it meant that she’d be surrounded by a crowd of other girls all day, Misty Lee would probably go out with Hitler or something.

Anyway, it’s all supposed to go down tomorrow at lunch. I’ll be there watching.

Your son,

Trevor